Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Are you down with the "Swirl?"

Are you down with the "swirl?" 

Definition of The Swirl: Interracial relationship mainly referring to blacks and whites.

The "swirl" has been a hot topic amongst my girlfriends and I. The majority of my girlfriends are African-American and kinda frustrated with our counterparts (black men) at the moment.  We have been seeing an increase of our black male friends with white women, so why not try it out ourselves? However, we talk to some of the black males we hang out with and their comment regarding this topic was, "I don't mind seeing black men with white women, but DON'T let me catch a sista with a white man...there will be hell to pay. It's just not right for black women to date white men!" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it!!!! So WHO THE HECK CAN WE DATE THEN?!?!?! 

I've had crushes on white guys, and talk to a few, but never dated or been in a relationship with them.  By no means would I hate on a black women who is with a white man...do your thing! But, I'm not sure I could go there or if I'm brave enough to. There are so many factors for me that go into dating outside my race period.  The main factor, my family. Oh my family. I love them deeply, but to be honest, they're not all that accepting of mixed relationships especially my Grandmother. She is not the biggest fan of whites or Catholics which is understandable knowing the reasons behind why she doesn't care for them. She has told me, "Try to find you a nice young BLACK man! Don't come up here with them whites!" Oh, and please DO NOT think this is my way of thinking as well! Also when my family gets together they have a tendency not to shine whites in a good light. It's unfortunate, but true and I honestly do not want to put a white guy I'm dating in that uncomfortable and demeaning situation. 

If I find a white man that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with, then I will get over myself and my family. Every relationship is hard work, but I find that relationship that are not the "norm" (whatever that is) are harder and require more strength from both partners. 

So I wanna know from y'all, are you down with the "swirl?" could you date someone outside of your race or do you want to stay within your race? Are you in an interracial relationship, and how is it for you? 

P.S. If anything in this post offends you, I apologize. However, I try to keep it 100%, but this is not meant to offend.  

Still Single, Cam? Yepp-o!

Friday, August 26, 2011


So about a month ago (a little longer, I just don't want to seem that pathetic...lol) I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy. Oh, he was everything I was looking for...Physically! 5'9 (he says, but 5'8 is more accurate), a fade with the semi- deep waves, medium to dark skin tone, athletic build,  GOOD TEETH (its a must in my book), all-in-all a good lookin brotha. The date started out kinda rough, he was 45 mins late (and believe me I was not a happy camper!). But, I let it slide because he was coming from another city that was quite far from where I was, and he got lost.  We went to a sushi bar, it was very cute with the right atmosphere for a first date. Conversation was on point from the start, and just flowed really well. So the Hilarious part of the date was when the check came...mind you he was the one who asked me out, so I was NOT going to pay, and didn't have to. But, when the check came he took his phone out and started doing something on it and I was thinking to myself, "Really! Dude, how rude!" Then he asked to see my phone, because he couldn't get the internet to come up on his, so I let him use mine. Come to find out he was checking his balance on his account to make sure he could pay for the meal...(Side Note: Why didn't you do this way before the date?!?!) Anyway, after dinner we went for a walk (luckily I always keep a cute pair of flats on hand). The walk was nice, chemistry was flowing as well as convo. So at the end we hugged, talked a little bit at my car, and he asked me out on a second date. So the next week about 4 days after our date I texted him just to see how he was doing...his response,  in all caps, "IM BUSY!" Ummm, Okay you don't have to tell me twice! Needless to say he never called me again and I haven't talk to him since.  Recently I found out he has an Ex he was with at the time of our date and has a baby with her...WHAT?!?!?! Yes...Yes, and didn't even bother to tell me he was in a relationship with a baby in the mix....NO SIR, I am no home-wrecker!

Ahhh the whoas of dating...dust myself off and try again

Still Single, Cam? Yep!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I am CAM :)

23 yr old Trying to figure out singlehood, men, and the dos and don'ts of the dating world. I'm young, educated, sassy, down-to-earth, fickle, sociable woman taking this confusing journey to find Mr. Right. Join me!