Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Are you down with the "Swirl?"

Are you down with the "swirl?" 

Definition of The Swirl: Interracial relationship mainly referring to blacks and whites.

The "swirl" has been a hot topic amongst my girlfriends and I. The majority of my girlfriends are African-American and kinda frustrated with our counterparts (black men) at the moment.  We have been seeing an increase of our black male friends with white women, so why not try it out ourselves? However, we talk to some of the black males we hang out with and their comment regarding this topic was, "I don't mind seeing black men with white women, but DON'T let me catch a sista with a white man...there will be hell to pay. It's just not right for black women to date white men!" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it!!!! So WHO THE HECK CAN WE DATE THEN?!?!?! 

I've had crushes on white guys, and talk to a few, but never dated or been in a relationship with them.  By no means would I hate on a black women who is with a white man...do your thing! But, I'm not sure I could go there or if I'm brave enough to. There are so many factors for me that go into dating outside my race period.  The main factor, my family. Oh my family. I love them deeply, but to be honest, they're not all that accepting of mixed relationships especially my Grandmother. She is not the biggest fan of whites or Catholics which is understandable knowing the reasons behind why she doesn't care for them. She has told me, "Try to find you a nice young BLACK man! Don't come up here with them whites!" Oh, and please DO NOT think this is my way of thinking as well! Also when my family gets together they have a tendency not to shine whites in a good light. It's unfortunate, but true and I honestly do not want to put a white guy I'm dating in that uncomfortable and demeaning situation. 

If I find a white man that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with, then I will get over myself and my family. Every relationship is hard work, but I find that relationship that are not the "norm" (whatever that is) are harder and require more strength from both partners. 

So I wanna know from y'all, are you down with the "swirl?" could you date someone outside of your race or do you want to stay within your race? Are you in an interracial relationship, and how is it for you? 

P.S. If anything in this post offends you, I apologize. However, I try to keep it 100%, but this is not meant to offend.  

Still Single, Cam? Yepp-o!


  1. This is such a well thought out post and definitely sounds like your guy friends have some double standards :) I think you should date whoever you want and whoever you are a good match personality wise. I have dated outside my race and I definitely think certain cities in the US are more accepting than others of "the swirl." Good luck, do what makes you happy. hehe, Following you now

    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog :)

  2. Hey lady... thanks so much for visiting my blog and commenting. Your too sweet!!

    As far as interracial dating... I'm married, but I never looked at color when I was single. If I liked someone and we had chemistry and were attracted to one another, I dated them. No problem! :) Girl I was not color struck...LOL Have a fab day doll! SMOOCHES!

  3. I am actually in a relationship with someone in my race. I have no problem dating another race, I have had a few crushs on a couple before. Anyone should be ale to date who ever their heart desires, whether if its their race or others (love has no race or color).

    Fashion Rehab

  4. I saw a couple pairs of these in the khaki color when I was there last week. They were on sale when I bought them so I'm not sure how many are left. Its worth a try though...


  5. Thank you for visiting my blog defiantly following yours now. Great topic and well thought out and illustrated points ( like your writing style) . Let's see, I've never been In an interationl relationship but I have talked and crushed on guys outside my race. Thing is I feel like race does not matter if you love and feel like you can mesh with the other person . Personaly not having tried the other flavors not sure if other races in a relationship would be able to be co
    Fortable with mine and my lifestyle.

  6. First off, Great post !
    I'm perfectly fine with 'the swirl'

    Why limit yourself to one race because of what anyone has to say or think when ulitmately it's your happiness on the line.

    now following =]
    looking forward to more great posts!

  7. I personally don't mind people dating outside of their race with regards to da swirl...I've dated a white guy b4 bt it jst didn't work out...not necessarily bcz he was white so I think it's abt da 2 people involved... i jst sometimes find it slightly annoyin when sum black guys make comments abt they wudn't date black girls(in an offensive tone nd vice versa) bt then again it's their own opinion...I don't think it matters who u date far as u happy!!