Beautiful!

XoXo,

Cam

Settling

Settling: Please do not settle for just any ol' body. Start searching for your future. Don't just grab the next person that walks by, really take the time to get to know this person to see if they are really what you want. FYI, Marriage, its for life just in case you didn't know! ♥

XoXo,

Cam

STAIRWAY TO LOVE

 You know the saying, "You're a hopeless romantic" well I'm a HOPEFUL romantic! To find the right love is a process that does not happen overnight.  There are steps you have to take to get to where you want to be, and unfortunately you have to create your own stairway to love.  Think of what you want out of a relationship, what is most important to you, what can't you live without.  I suggest making a list.  It doesn't have to be thirty pages long, it only has to consist of your "must haves".  Making this list will allow you to evaluate the person your considering spending the rest of your life with.  For example, if one of your "must haves" is, Respect.  Define what respect means to you and if that person is not meeting your definition of respect then maybe its time to reevaluate the whole relationship.  

Lastly, with your list make sure you're able to meet all the standards you have formed for your significant other.  Why should that person meet your standards if you can't meet them yourself!


XoXo,
Cam

Open Heart

I had the LONGEST list when it came to what I wanted in the opposite sex.  OMG it was literally pages!  However, after talking to some of my closes friends (more like them talking at me…lol!) I have decided to shorten my “list” drastically!  I have always said,  “if I can’t meet my own standards then I refuse to put those standards on my future partner” and I still stand by that statement.  But, some things on my list were kinda impossible to meet, for example, genetically straight teeth, 6ft or taller, must have upper level college education, and reasonable size nostrils…lol! Now that I have looked over my list I realize that some standards were just straight up ridiculous!  It took some maturity on my part and a lot of conversations with some of my sisters that lasted for hours and a lot of eye rolling on my part.  Prayer and truly looking at myself to see if I could meet all these standards is what really help turn my thinking around on some things.  I know I’m nowhere near 6ft, I don’t have all my graduate degrees (I’m getting there) and I’m no Halle Berry, but I handle my own.  However, I will say this, my uncle has always said, “You don’t want someone who looks like they belong on a chain or in a cage”…lol! It’s all about having an open heart for love to find you.  So, I’m letting go and seeing what happens…. you never know :)

XoXo,

Cam

Approachable or Not?

So lately I've been told by some guys that I'm unapproachable! Its amazing how the opposite sex perceives you, but unfortunately my girlfriends have told me this as well! I just don't get it, I didn't think I had seemed "stand-offish" or aloof! I am a focused individual and sometimes I guess that can come off as though I have a wall up and no one is allowed in, and guys do not find that attractive! I can understand why guys would not find that attractive, because I don't either.  So I guess I should fix my face and my attitude. But, how? Because how do you fix a problem you were not aware of in the first place? I honestly have no clue how I can fix this problem.  I don't want guys to be turn-off and unable to approach me because they think I'm mean or something of the sort.  I know my friends were just trying to bring this to my attention, but dang, now I'm a little insecure (so does that make me worse off?)! However, when guys actually get up the nerve to talk to me they are surprised that I'm not what they expected (thankfully). So, it would be the other way around, rather than trying to get a guy's attention and keep it; I can keep a guy's attention, but I just don't know how to get it...lol!  I don't know how to soften my face, and I refuse to stroll around with a smile plastered on (maybe that's my problem, I'm noncompliant).  I don't think a guy would want a woman who walks around cheesing all day long, or am I wrong? How do I make this work, I'm focus woman and unfortunately I always have something on my mind controlling my outward appearance.  What's a girl to do? I am genuinely perplexed? Help!?!? 


XoXo,
Cam

Relationship Status

I found this pic, and thought to myself. . ."This is sooooooo true!!!" Nowadays I find myself. . .

LOL!

XoXo,

Still Single, Cam? Yea, just waiting on my miracle! 

Mama said, "There will be days like this!"

I can always count on my mom to give the best advice, especially when it comes to men. To give you a little background about the situation with this guy and I, I'll start from the beginning.


This guy and I have known of each other for a long time now, probably since we where in elementary school. But, we've never really paid attention to one another till last summer.  Last summer we began to talk and spend some time with each other. We were building a good solid friendship.  As we built this friendship we began to explore the possibility of being in a relationship exclusively.  Unfortunately, I held my tongue to long about how I felt about him and he started dating someone else {sad face}.  He has been dating this woman for almost a year now, and she's actually very nice and sweet. However, he and I are still very close good friends, he's probably my best guy friend, heck one of my best friends period! We can tell each other anything and everything no matter the shock value or the silliness of it, we're that comfortable with each other. We can go from a completely no non-sense silly conversation to a deep intense conversation. The friendship is built on trust, compassion, mutual interest, and our unique comfort level with one another.  Its just a really good friendship!  He is such a beautiful, caring, intense, loving, thoughtful, and compassionate man. He honestly makes me proud to be apart of his life. So, this friendship has grown so much over the past year and I couldn't be happier, expect. . .I've started to develop some serious feelings for this man...Ah NAH! 


What's a girl to do?!?!? Well after talking to my Mama I've come to a conclusion. My mom gave me a little background about guys and how they operate.  In a nut shell she told me if it's meant to be then GOD is already working on it, and I need to step back and move on to the next one.  I want tell him how I feel about him, but my mother so loving told me, "HECK NAH!!!" It will just make the friendship awkward, and that's the last thing I want! Some people say, "If I can't have you this way, then I don't want you at all!" Well that's not me at all, I would rather have him as my best friend than not at all! 


So, I decided I'm just going to keep my mouth shut out of the respect for our friendship and {sigh} his girlfriend! I will just wait and see what happens and keep it movin! 


XoXo,
Still Single, Cam? I plead the 5th! 

I'm Back, with a ONE TRACK MIND!

So I'm back! I've been gone for a couple of weeks bogged down with school...UGH!  I have been consistently in the library studying, studying, and studying...wait for it, wait for it....STUDYING!!!LOL! 

Anyhoo, to my subject, I have a ONE TRACK MIND...OMG! So there is ALWAYS a cute guy in my study area in the library... never fails, ALWAYS! It was a very nice distraction to check out the cuties around me! I swear sometimes my eyes have a mind of their own, they're always looking for some type of I candy to fixate on...SMH!!! 

XoXo,

Still Single, Cam? {Sigh} Yea! 

I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer...But!

Ok, I'm not usually a whiner or complainer AT ALL, however, today, this week really, is an exception. I have just been a Debbie downer when it comes to men, dating, relationships, and all that jazz. I don't know if its hormones or the atmosphere (anyone and anything but me of course....lol)  but I'm not on my game...not like I ever was! Every man I've come across lately are confusing and frustrating the crap out of me...gosh! I'm getting annoyed with men super easy lately, I don't know what the deal is. I LOVE me some men...lol! I've also been getting down on myself asking the questions...Is it me? Is it the Men that I'm going after? Am I too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny (HA! Yea right..lol!), do I smell...I mean DANG I'm running out of questions! Trust I've thought about all possible questions (maybe not). So I guess this is my "whoa is me" post! I'm not usually like this. I have a laissez faire attitude about men...like whatever happens, happens! But not this week, I'm so not in the right head space! Do y'all have moments like this or is it just me PMSing?TMI...lol! What's up with me, SNAP OUT OF IT>>>GOSH LADY!!! {SIGH} 


XoXo
Still single, Cam? HELL YA! 

Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now

Just started my blog, and I'm already neglecting it...smh...sorry! I started school, and my professors had me hit the ground running and I haven't caught my breath since...lol! So, school has been a BEAST to say (type) the least! But, I'm back! Anywhooo, on to the subject... 

There are two Mr. Rights, Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. What's the difference? I'm glad you asked!

Ok, a relationship with Mr. Right usually consist of the following, but not limited too. . .

Long-term- partnership   

Partner- two becoming one

Love- wholeheartedly  

Invested interest- making the relationship work when it can work, and realizing it can't work and being mature and caring about the other's feelings       

                                          

Listen- understanding what you are expressing to him  

                                                           

Passion and Heat- never dies (might fizzle...lol, but it will always be there if both partners want it) 

                                                  

Hard-work- constantly, but the other partner makes it easy!     

                                                       

Patience- is key   

SIDE BAR: I love how I telling y'all how a relationship with Mr. Right should be, but I haven't even met him myself...lol, a girl can dream can't she? Hopefully one day a reality! But, for the meantime just work with me ladies :)

But, I know plenty about Mr. Right Now....Let me explain a relationship (for a lack of a better word) with him. . .

Short- term- can't withstand a honest relationship so it ends up crumbling, and it's probably for the best

Booty call- Mmmmm, y'all now what I'm saying! It's good for a moment, but in the morning the feeling or alcohol is gone and reality set in...lol! 

Lust- looking with your eyes and not with your heart

Hears- The Charlie Brown effect! Whoommmp Whooommmp Whooommmp! He hears sounds instead of words with a meaning behind them. 

Lukewarm- The passion dies and never comes back or it was never there in the first place

Hardly works- self-explainatory 

Time consuming- A whole lot of headaches and not enough Tylenol 

I'm not going to lie, sometimes Mr. Right Now sounds pretty darn good...but never good enough! So, I'm holding out for Mr. Right, but dang can he get a move on...GOSH! But, my Mama always says, "You can't rush GOD!" Well I guess I have to sit and be patient! 

XoXo,

Still Single, Cam? What do you think?!?!? 

Are you down with the "Swirl?"

Are you down with the "swirl?" 


Definition of The Swirl: Interracial relationship mainly referring to blacks and whites.


The "swirl" has been a hot topic amongst my girlfriends and I. The majority of my girlfriends are African-American and kinda frustrated with our counterparts (black men) at the moment.  We have been seeing an increase of our black male friends with white women, so why not try it out ourselves? However, we talk to some of the black males we hang out with and their comment regarding this topic was, "I don't mind seeing black men with white women, but DON'T let me catch a sista with a white man...there will be hell to pay. It's just not right for black women to date white men!" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it!!!! So WHO THE HECK CAN WE DATE THEN?!?!?! 


I've had crushes on white guys, and talk to a few, but never dated or been in a relationship with them.  By no means would I hate on a black women who is with a white man...do your thing! But, I'm not sure I could go there or if I'm brave enough to. There are so many factors for me that go into dating outside my race period.  The main factor, my family. Oh my family. I love them deeply, but to be honest, they're not all that accepting of mixed relationships especially my Grandmother. She is not the biggest fan of whites or Catholics which is understandable knowing the reasons behind why she doesn't care for them. She has told me, "Try to find you a nice young BLACK man! Don't come up here with them whites!" Oh, and please DO NOT think this is my way of thinking as well! Also when my family gets together they have a tendency not to shine whites in a good light. It's unfortunate, but true and I honestly do not want to put a white guy I'm dating in that uncomfortable and demeaning situation. 


If I find a white man that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with, then I will get over myself and my family. Every relationship is hard work, but I find that relationship that are not the "norm" (whatever that is) are harder and require more strength from both partners. 


So I wanna know from y'all, are you down with the "swirl?" could you date someone outside of your race or do you want to stay within your race? Are you in an interracial relationship, and how is it for you? 


P.S. If anything in this post offends you, I apologize. However, I try to keep it 100%, but this is not meant to offend.  


XoXo,
Still Single, Cam? Yepp-o!

WTH?!?!?!

So about a month ago (a little longer, I just don't want to seem that pathetic...lol) I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy. Oh, he was everything I was looking for...Physically! 5'9 (he says, but 5'8 is more accurate), a fade with the semi- deep waves, medium to dark skin tone, athletic build,  GOOD TEETH (its a must in my book), all-in-all a good lookin brotha. The date started out kinda rough, he was 45 mins late (and believe me I was not a happy camper!). But, I let it slide because he was coming from another city that was quite far from where I was, and he got lost.  We went to a sushi bar, it was very cute with the right atmosphere for a first date. Conversation was on point from the start, and just flowed really well. So the Hilarious part of the date was when the check came...mind you he was the one who asked me out, so I was NOT going to pay, and didn't have to. But, when the check came he took his phone out and started doing something on it and I was thinking to myself, "Really! Dude, how rude!" Then he asked to see my phone, because he couldn't get the internet to come up on his, so I let him use mine. Come to find out he was checking his balance on his account to make sure he could pay for the meal...(Side Note: Why didn't you do this way before the date?!?!) Anyway, after dinner we went for a walk (luckily I always keep a cute pair of flats on hand). The walk was nice, chemistry was flowing as well as convo. So at the end we hugged, talked a little bit at my car, and he asked me out on a second date. So the next week about 4 days after our date I texted him just to see how he was doing...his response,  in all caps, "IM BUSY!" Ummm, Okay you don't have to tell me twice! Needless to say he never called me again and I haven't talk to him since.  Recently I found out he has an Ex he was with at the time of our date and has a baby with her...WHAT?!?!?! Yes...Yes, and didn't even bother to tell me he was in a relationship with a baby in the mix....NO SIR, I am no home-wrecker!


Ahhh the whoas of dating...dust myself off and try again


XoXo,
Still Single, Cam? Yep!

I am CAM :)

23 yr old Trying to figure out singlehood, men, and the dos and don'ts of the dating world. I'm young, educated, sassy, down-to-earth, fickle, sociable woman taking this confusing journey to find Mr. Right. Join me!